Since no one else wants to come out and say it because right now it's so cool to be "green", I will:

GLOBAL WARMING IS A FUCKING FAD!

Oh wait! I almost forgot that everyone will hate me if I'm not "green", so let me correct myself...

GLOBAL WARMING IS A STUPID FUCKING FAD!

Actually, you know what? I've decided that I'm going to take this whole "green" thing seriously now, and from the point forward, Gweem.net is GOING GREEN!!

So, as I was saying. Global warming, aka the "climate crisis", is one of the most retarded fucking fads I've ever seen in my life. It's about as stupid as trying to stop hate, save an endangered species, or end poverty. These are things you can't stop because no matter what you do, these things are going to happen one way or another:



Stopping Hate: You can't stop people from hating each other because there's always going to be someone you don't like...this is true for everyone. You know YOU hate someone, regardless of why, and you just don't want to see their face ever again. Shoot, people hate the fuck out of me, and I hate plenty of people too. I bet even the pope hates someone. I guarantee there's one dude on Earth that the pope is all like "Ah! God, I hate that fucking guy!".



Endangered Species: Look, these shitty animals are endangered for one reason or another, but it all boils down to this: Natural selection has deemed this species as worthless enough to be wiped from the face of the planet. End of story. I could be wrong, but I'm pretty sure there isn't any species on the planet that was solely wiped out by man and man alone. Whatever it was, be it the Dodo bird or the Balinese tiger or whatever, the shitty species was already dwindling before we came along and took care of it. These species were destined to die, and no matter how hard you fight it, they're toast eventually. DEAL WITH IT!



Ending Poverty: Poor people are poor. So what? There's always going to be poor, hungry people unless you want to go the route of communism...Hell, even then, I think there are poor communists too. The point being: You can't put an end to poverty. Let's say you took everything away from everyone, then gave everyone alive $1,000,000. You just made billions of people millionaires. YAY! Now, what's going to stop millions of retarded saps from going out and blowing all of that on bullshit? Nothing. These are the same idiots who deserve to be poor. Shit, even rich people have done insanely retarded shit that put them in the poor house. Do they deserve to not be poor? NO. I'm sorry that you're worthless, but that's your problem so either fix it yourself or live with it.

Which brings me back to Global Warming...

You can't stop climate change; it fucking happens. It's been happening since the birth of the planet. Every once in a while, the temperature shifts over a period of years. Sometimes shit gets hotter, sometimes it gets colder. Hell, sometimes continents break off into the sea and sometimes new ones are formed.

This is science, motherfuckers!

The Climate "Crisis" isn't a crisis at all. A crisis would mean that the planet is going to get extremely fucking hot, really fucking fast...like next month, and we're all going to cook like bacon because the oceans are going to dry up. THAT would be a crisis. That would be something to worry about.

So, why do I claim that the Climate Crisis is a fad? Because I guarantee that in 10 years, no one is going to care about this shit anymore. Everyone will have grown tired of being told that they're fucking up the planet by driving cars and keeping their hair stylish. Plus, everyone and every thing on Earth will have adapted to the change in climate...and if you can't adapt, well then I guess it's just your fucking time to become endangered or extinct.

I'm tired of people trying to hang onto dear life so fucking hard that they feel the need to tell ME what to do with MY standard of living so they can feel like they've done their part to preserve the planet.



Assholes like Al Gore prance around all up in my face telling me how I'm part of the problem that's killing the planet. Fuck you! I say that you're most of the reason why the human race is such a sack of rusted vaginas. You need to grow the fuck up and adapt to conditions like every other species on Earth.

Look all around the world, America --you too, Al Gore-- and you'll see that there are some really fucking hot places and some really fucking cold places on Earth. Do you know what these places have in common? LIFE! And I don't just mean plants, animals, deep sea creatures, and shit like that, but HUMANS too. Humans who have adapted to the extreme climates.



Arabs, Africans and such have lived in the blazing desert areas for thousands of years, and Eskimos have lived in arctic areas for a while too. I don't know why they'd want to, but the point is that they have.

So, a Global warming climate really doesn't seem like it's all that unlivable, now does it? Oh sure, maybe not as comfortable as you'd like, but really, I highly doubt we're going to be living in a post-apocalyptic wasteland like fuckwads such as Al Gore would have you believe. It'd just be different...but that scares you, doesn't it?

Now ask yourself, "Well, why the fuck should I care about global warming and climate change then?" and you'll likely not be able to come up with an answer that someone on TV didn't tell you to believe. Then ask yourself this: Who stands to benefit from "saving the planet"? Not you, not your kids, or the grandkids. No. It's the fuckers who are marketing this bullshit:



That's right. You've basically been suckered into a massive late-night infomercial about how you need to re-buy everything you own so that you can have the green, environmental-friendly version of the shit you already have.

But Al Gore really cares about the planet!!!!1!1! Right, and the $10 you spent on tickets to see An Inconvenient Truth is $10 that's going straight to buying medication for the planet. And the $12.95 for "An Inconvenient Truth: The Book" is going to cover the planet's post-op recovery. You fucking idiot.

I really don't feel like I need to say it, but for your sake, I will:

No single person, nor group of persons

will save the fucking planet!



No, not even Superman can reverse this shit.

Reality check: I'm pretty fucking sure that volcanoes are the #1 cause of like 80% of all carbon emissions on Earth. How do you plan on putting a stop to volcanoes, eco-warriors? Are you going to sign a petition to ban volcanic activity? Retards.

So, quit trying to be cool by "going green", even if you THINK you're doing the world any good...you're not. No one is going to remember that you changed from standard incandescent bulbs over to eco-friendly ones. Stop fooling yourself. Go out, buy some hairspray and leave your Hummer running while you go into the store.

Whatever it is that you think you're doing to better the world because you saw Jennifer Anniston doing on TV, I guarantee that there are at least 5 people like me who could give a shit because we know it's absolutely futile to even bother trying.

It's shit like this that makes me yearn for the days when people just dressed stupid because of shit they saw on TV. I'd rather watch some dickshit wearing backwards pants like Kriss-Kross than hear some whiny, Captain Planet wannabe bitch trying to tell me how to better my life by being eco-friendly.

Sorry Captain, I can't find my Heart ring, so it looks like Earth is completely fucked.





 


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