Advertising on the internet.

So, there I was…browsing the internet today, just doing my thing and I decide to hit up Yahoo to see if they have any headlines I could bitch about when this shit happened:

The first three thoughts that popped into my head:
This is what I get for caring about what Luke Wilson has to say about AT&T's coverage.
I want to meet the asshole who invented this style of advertising, and grind his balls into a paste.
Now I remember why I use Google instead of Yahoo...

How fucking annoying is that?!
Who thought that it would be a good idea to have their giant advertisement fly all over your screen and cover the shit that you're trying to read? Not only does this brand of advertising make me NOT want to buy your product and NOT want to visit the host page ever again, but it also makes me want to hunt down the marketing executive who's responsible for putting this kind of shit on their site to annoy the fucking piss out of me.

This is the exact reason why I don't plaster ads all over my site. That shitty banner I put on my pages is at the BOTTOM for a reason: Because it's NOT the most important thing on my website. The content of my site is what's important; it's what draws traffic to the site - not 300 stupid fucking advertisements.

And they're getting worse...

There was a time when advertising on a website was a positive thing; you got the word out about your product in a respectable way in a small banner placed somewhere out of the way. Sure, part of the reason was that technology couldn't handle fancy Flash-based ads back when everyone was pushing 33.3k modems that took 10 minutes just to load the text on a page, but that's beside the point.

Fast-forward to 10 years later...

and now you've got shit all over your screen.

First, it started with an ad here, an ad there, then it was banner ads at the top, bottom, and sides...soon after that, in addition to the banners, there were ads embedded in the page and then ones with sound when you rolled over. Next up came the pop-ups and pop-unders which elevated advertising to a new level of annoyance, and then came Flash and Java-based shit. This is pretty much the point where everything went to hell.

Really, who thought that this way of marketing shit was going to appeal to potential customers as opposed to simply pissing them off? I have yet to meet one person who had an ad pop up in their face while trying to read something on a page, and go "Oh wow, I totally want to take that survey!"

I sure as shit never felt the urge to say to myself "Man, oh man! I'm so glad that this shit flew across my screen and blocked my view of everything else, otherwise I may have forgotten this product existed."

This shit is more annoying than those assholes in the mall who try to sell you that stupid ass Dead Sea foot scrub bullshit by stepping in your path and saying "Excuse me, sir...can I ask you a question?".
NO!

Get the fuck out of my face!
If I'm busy trying to mind my own business while I'm making the bee-line to [STORE], and you fucking step out in front of me, then maybe I should have half a mind to just punch you in the stomach.
If I wanted Dead Sea scrub, I would have set my path in the direction of your fucking booth, jackoff. I'm busy trying to make my way over to [STORE] to buy shit that I actually WANT.

This is the exact same thing as plastering ads all over a website that cover the material that I want to see. I didn't go to the mall for Dead Sea scrubs, and I didn't browse to your website to see ads for fucking Hanes No Ride-Up Panties.

I'm tired of people trying to shove products in
my face - next time, it's gonna be my foot
... in YOUR face.

How fucking annoying is that?!

Fast-forward to 10 years later...

and now you've got shit all over your screen.

NO!

Get the fuck out of my face!

I'm tired of people trying to shove products in

my face - next time, it's gonna be my foot

... in YOUR face.

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